How do you choose when your heart is breaking?

Kiki has kidney failure. Just now, at the vet, it was the closest I had ever come to breaking down over Kiki. It was the first time too that I saw my mom get really close to crying over her.

I really don't know what I'll do when she's not in my life anymore. Do you think it's silly to be so worked up over an animal? Well, screw you. I've had her my entire life. She's 17 years old. The vet said that's already admirable because most cats live to only about 15.

But she's a great cat, you know? She's already losing weight, her kidneys are functioning at about 35%. That's what the vet suspects. Over the course of the next few days, we'll have to see if she eats and takes her medicine [5 tablets daily] then if she responds well, her kidneys are still functionable and she might just survive for a few more months. If not, it'll just be a few weeks.

It was horrible at the clinic. Seeing her suffer through the drip and the kidney test injection. Seeing how scared and confused she looked.

I just hope we're never faced with the decision of putting her to sleep.

Oh man..

My darling Kiki is sick. =(. Not AGAIN, you know? She's having the same problem she had last time - something to do with the urine, a kidney infection. The vet cured her several months ago [almost a year, in fact] when it first happened but now.. She's already so skinny and frail, I don't know how many more medications she can take. =(.

My mom told me she just hopes, that when it's time for Kiki to die, it'll be peaceful and swift - she hopes Kiki won't suffer from a long illness, unlike Ringo, my sister's cat. She also hopes we won't have to discover that at the vet and be faced with the decision of having to put Kiki to sleep.

All that aside, my mind's messed up all over again. Which do you think is more important in a relationship - having common values or shared interests? You know, the funny thing is that the two should go hand in hand. How can you have similar interests with different values?

Yesterday night was fun. Malam pentas II. I wasn't supposed to go, but when we had to drop my sister off around the area, I decided to drop by. I felt really smelly ok! Hadn't even showered and what-not. I reached at almost 9. =P.

K, off to the vet...

Wish Kiki luck k.